Sunday, June 18, 2006,2:35 pm
CLUELESS . PURPOSE-LESS
we had yfc again today .shuni . zhihao . junjie . jouhar and me went to yew tee to sell .hm .loads of people slammed the d0or at us .andd i tell youu .my that LAOGONG .a GREAAAT SALESGUURL .haahs .she go everywhere . also cann seell dao .i go . people all neverr even open the d0or .PRO .haha .then . after awhile .we all sat down to slack in front of a bball .NATURALLY .before long . they would challenge someone to play .junjie . jouhar and zhihao were wearing jeans .the opponents were wearing shorts .so me andd shuni t0ok junjie's phone to film a COMMERCIALL*shuni say lame .so she didnt helpp me .hahas .we were advertising them wearing JEANS to play .supeerr lame -_-"hm . anyways . then went to celebrate father's day with the cousins x)my grandmaa's in a wheeeelchairr now )):it kinda pains to see that yea .like . how time has moved so fast .i neverr thought she wouldd get old .haiis .something still bugs me till now .a few nights ago .i slept aboutt 2am plus .andd it was suddenly raining SUPER heavy .andd i felt a reaally strange type of fear .my heart was racing like siao .andd i couldnt help feeling that SOMETHING was going to happen .it was like . emptyness . vulnerability . nakedness .i dont wana feeel that again =xhm . anyways .dadd saidd i cant afford to get below 75-80 forr any results anymore .else he wont let me work .im trying to get through PASSING .anyways . im not going to complain .instead . im going to try HIS method forr once .i cant afford to play around anymore .i cant afford NOT to balance my life .so . i havee to set my mindd straight .no more distractions .when i work . i work .when i play . i play .when i study . i study .another thing . now that i think of it .nobody TRUELY understands me .because of ourr distance .even cherie andd me are drifting .now .the people i thought were my friends kept telling me .i understand them . blah blah .but . never a word of the vice versa .i dont even know WHERE i stand in theirr lives .it could nowhere forr all i know .i dont know .but i never felt this way before .andd i dont intendd to )):
heartofGodchurch